 Buying a home is one of life’s most meaningful milestones. It represents stability, independence, and the opportunity to build a future on your own terms. For many LGBTQ individuals and families, however, the journey toward homeownership has not always felt straightforward. While progress has been made in legal protections and financial access, navigating the mortgage process can still feel intimidating for first-time buyers or couples unfamiliar with lending requirements. The good news is that with preparation, education, and the right guidance, the path to owning a home can be both achievable and empowering. According to mortgage expert Chad Krieger, VP of Mortgage Lending at US Eagle Federal Credit Union, creating an inclusive lending experience begins with understanding that every borrower’s situation is unique. “Mortgage lending is personal, and we aim to create a space where members feel heard, understood and supported throughout the process,” he says. A welcoming environment allows buyers to ask questions openly and feel confident that they are receiving clear, fair information about their options. Credit unions and community-focused lenders often approach mortgages a bit differently than traditional banks. Their structure allows them to focus more on individual members rather than outside shareholders. “The biggest differentiation factor… is that, as a member-owned credit union, we are a not-for-profit lender,” Krieger explains. “This means we don’t have shareholders and we don’t work on commission. Our sole focus is finding the best solution for the individual member.” That philosophy can translate into a more educational and collaborative experience for buyers who are navigating one of the largest financial decisions of their lives. Today’s mortgage market offers a variety of loan products designed to meet a wide range of financial situations. Buyers may consider conventional loans, FHA or VA loans, or portfolio lending options depending on their credit profile and financial goals. Many lenders also offer first-time homebuyer programs, low down payment options, and home equity products that can help buyers build financial stability over time. But before selecting a loan product, Krieger says preparation is key. “A mortgage is not about qualifying for the biggest loan possible,” he says. “It’s about aligning homeownership with long-term financial health.” That perspective encourages buyers to think beyond the excitement of purchasing a home and instead focus on sustainability. Owning a home should enhance financial well-being, not strain it. Preparation for the mortgage process often begins months before someone even starts shopping for a property. Krieger recommends reviewing your credit report early to understand your financial profile. Buyers should also avoid taking on new debt prior to applying for a mortgage—such as opening new credit cards or financing a vehicle—because these changes can impact approval. Organizing income records, tax documents, and savings information ahead of time can also help streamline the application process. Maintaining stable employment and determining a comfortable monthly payment range are equally important steps.  Family structures and financial arrangements have evolved significantly over the years, and mortgage lending has adapted accordingly. “Nontraditional family structures are very common,” Krieger notes. “Income… is always evaluated consistently across all applicants according to regulatory guidelines.” In practice, that means lenders evaluate verified income, assets, and credit history using standardized criteria rather than making assumptions about relationship status, gender identity, or household structure.
While the mortgage process itself typically follows the same stages—pre-approval, application, underwriting, appraisal, and closing—the experience can still feel complex for buyers navigating today’s housing market. Many potential homeowners are encountering challenges such as rising interest rates, limited housing inventory, and affordability pressures. These broader market conditions affect nearly all buyers, but they also highlight the importance of understanding financial fundamentals before entering the market. Financial education plays a critical role in that preparation. Buyers benefit from learning how credit scores influence mortgage pricing, how debt-to-income ratios are calculated, and what funds may be used toward a down payment. Understanding closing costs, property taxes, and the ongoing expenses associated with homeownership can also help buyers develop realistic expectations. “Every borrower’s financial story is different,” Krieger says. “The most effective guidance begins with understanding goals, comfort levels and long-term plans… Home lending is technical but trust is human.” That balance between financial expertise and personal understanding is what allows borrowers to feel confident about their decisions. For LGBTQ buyers considering homeownership, Krieger emphasizes that preparation and knowledge are powerful tools. Taking time to understand your finances and your long-term goals can make a significant difference in the mortgage process. “Do your research and own your financial preparation before you shop for a home,” he says. “Strong credit, stable income, documented assets and realistic expectations will put you in control of the process.” Ultimately, homeownership is about more than financial transactions. It is about creating a place where people can build their lives, their families, and their futures. With thoughtful planning and supportive guidance, the dream of owning a home can become a reality—one that provides both security and the freedom to truly feel at home. Chad C. Krieger has over 25 years of mortgage lending experience, holding leadership roles in underwriting and credit strategy. He currently serves as Vice President of Mortgage Lending at US Eagle Federal Credit Union.
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 For more than four decades, Larry Aguilar has captivated audiences with dazzling drag performances, inventive choreography, and a stage presence that blends glamour, humor, and storytelling. But beyond the costumes and applause is an artist whose greatest pride isn’t measured by crowns or standing ovations—it’s the friendships, mentorship, and sense of family he’s built throughout a lifetime in entertainment. Aguilar’s love of performing began long before he ever stepped onto a professional stage. “I actually started acting in junior high school,” he recalls. “My sisters and I were those children that created plays and musicals for our parents and the neighborhood kids. We also made TV shows with an 8 mm camera, so that actually got me interested in performing—the feeling that I got when I was out on stage.” After joining the U.S. Air Force at just 17 years old, Aguilar came out and began discovering the LGBTQ+ community for himself. Looking back, he remembers a welcoming environment that challenged everything he expected. “I never experienced any kind of hate,” he says. “It was always good experiences, and I was always treated with respect, and that was also in the Air Force. This was way before ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.’” That optimism has remained with him throughout a career that began in the late 1970s. When creating a performance, Aguilar starts with the music, then builds every element around it. “I’m not one of those people that can, as they say, ‘park and bark,’” he laughs. “I have to be able to dance. I have to move. The number has to have some comedy or humor. After that comes the outfit, and to me it has to be a brand-new outfit.” One of his favorite creations was portraying Pepper from American Horror Story, a role that pushed him creatively in unexpected ways. “Doing Pepper let me create someone I never knew,” he says. “The minute I got the bald cap on my head and stuck that fake nose on, it was so cool.” The performance even caught the attention of Naomi Grossman, the actress who originated the character on television. “She actually reached out to me and told me how she enjoyed my performance, and that was truly exciting for me.” For Aguilar, drag has always been much more than entertainment. Early in his career, veteran Texas pageant queens taught him that visibility comes with responsibility. “Being out in public can be difficult, but it also gives you a platform,” he says. “With that platform, you have to make sure that you’re doing it right, and you’re able to let people know the good and bad of the community.” Even after decades on stage, Aguilar continues looking for ways to surprise audiences. One of his favorite memories came when audiences assumed he was performing another Cher number—until the music suddenly shifted into Puttin’ on the Ritz and a 30-person flash mob joined him for an elaborate tap routine.
“The audience was like, ‘That man still has it,’” he says with a smile. Away from drag, Aguilar has become one of New Mexico’s most respected choreographers, creating more than 50 musicals for community theaters across the state. His recent work with Cardboard Playhouse has become one of the most rewarding chapters of his career. “I have been very lucky to be a part of the Cardboard Playhouse Theatre Company,” he says. “It’s probably been one of the most exciting and fulfilling things I’ve done in a long time.” Working with children and teenagers has reminded him why he fell in love with theater in the first place. “You give them choreography, they’ll do it, they’ll fall on their head, they’ll get up, they’ll laugh, and they’ll do it again. These kids are so inspiring.” Aguilar believes staying connected to younger performers is what keeps him growing as an artist. “You always have to be relatable, relevant, new, and surprising,” he says. “You have to stay with the young performers. That’s what’s going to keep you going.” His greatest challenges, however, came away from the stage. After returning to Albuquerque following the loss of his partner, Aguilar endured a torn Achilles tendon during a performance, Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma requiring months of chemotherapy, a burst appendix, and rotator cuff surgery. Rather than focusing on those hardships, he remembers something far more important. “I needed a lot of friends,” he says. When asked how he hopes people remember him, his answer has little to do with performances or accolades. “I hope I’m remembered for my friends and my friendship,” Aguilar reflects. “I hope they remember my challenging choreography, the ability to create magic out of little resources, and also to create a family.” Then he adds the words that perhaps best define his remarkable career. “I love my friends. I believe in friendship. I hope that’s what people remember me for—the good times, the margarita parties, the Oscar parties, and the hugs.” For Larry Aguilar, the spotlight has never been the destination. It’s simply been the place from which he’s inspired generations of performers, created unforgettable moments, and reminded us all that the greatest legacy isn’t found in applause—it’s found in the people whose lives you’ve touched along the way.  Playwright PC Verrone answers the question, "What happens when classic horror tropes are turned upside down and reimagined through an Indigenous lens?" What happens when classic horror tropes are turned upside down and reimagined through an Indigenous lens? Playwright PC Verrone answers that question with Bad Medicine. This world premiere production combines supernatural suspense, sharp comedy, and timely social commentary into an unforgettable theatrical experience that encourages reflection on Indigenous issues and representation. While audiences may recognize echoes of horror classics, Bad Medicine is anything but conventional. Verrone describes the production as "Indigenous Get Out meets Rosemary's Baby," offering a fresh take on the genre while challenging long-standing stereotypes that have often defined Native characters and cultures in film and theater. The inspiration for the play came from a desire to rethink familiar horror conventions. "This play started as an attempt to balance my love of horror stories with their overuse of tropes like 'Indian burial grounds' and 'cursed totems,'" Verrone explains. "I wanted to flip the script by writing a story that centered Native perspectives and made the source of the mystical terror European in origin." That shift in perspective allows Bad Medicine to do more than entertain. Beneath its scares lies a meaningful exploration of Indigenous identity, colonialism, cultural appropriation, and Native communities' everyday experiences, emphasizing its relevance for social justice advocates and Indigenous audiences. Verrone says horror proved to be the ideal genre for exploring those themes because of its ability to amplify emotional truths. "I wanted to connect the ways that Native people are discouraged from seeking out community and culture with non-Native peoples' appropriation of those same cultures," he says. "I hadn't really seen that relationship discussed in that way. Horror's heightened emotional scale allowed me to reveal the real violence in the small, everyday indignities that Native people experience."  Kholan Studi and Taras Moses during rehearsals of Bad Medicine. Although Bad Medicine delivers genuine suspense, audiences can also expect plenty of humor. For Verrone, the combination wasn't something he consciously planned. It simply reflects the way he approaches storytelling. "That wasn't necessarily intentional," he says. "I think I naturally gravitate to comedy as a way out of very tense situations. What I love about horror as a genre is that it can be campy and over-the-top, as well as spooky and suspenseful. You can twist the audience's expectations and really surprise them!" Authenticity has been central to every aspect of the production. From the beginning, Verrone believed Indigenous representation throughout the cast and creative team wasn't simply important, it was essential. "Oh, that was paramount," he says. "The play is about Native personhood being co-opted by non-Native people, so the entire show would fall apart if not for Native creatives throughout the production. But this representation is also necessary because we all come from a variety of different tribes and nations, so we're also bringing our own culturally specific perspectives to the themes of this show." Seeing Bad Medicine come to life on stage has been a deeply personal milestone for the playwright. "I don't exaggerate when I say that this has been a dream of mine since I was a little kid," Verrone says. "We don't invest nearly enough into producing new plays by emerging playwrights, so I'm grateful to be in this position. It has been unreal seeing the creative team bring their own visions to the world that I wrote and puzzling out how to transform the play's moments of theatrical magic from words on a page to a fully embodied experience."  PC Verrone is excited to present his brand-new play, Bad Medicine, on the Santa Fe Playhouse stage. Beyond the thrills and laughs, Verrone hopes audiences leave the theater reflecting on their own relationship with Indigenous communities and culture. "I would like audiences to leave considering their relationships to Indigeneity," he says. "What are the assumptions you have about Native people that are, in fact, limiting or dehumanizing? What is your connection to your own heritage? I want people to leave understanding that there is work to be done, but there is a dawn at the end of the night." This reflection is central to the play's social commentary and its call for awareness and change. As someone who has worked across multiple storytelling mediums, Verrone says live theater offers a uniquely collaborative creative process unlike any other. "There is a unique energy to being part of a collaborative process like live theater," he explains. "When I write a script, my goal is not to be didactic about how the story should appear onstage, but rather, to write in such a way that will inspire my fellow collaborators. I think of it as an invitation for their imagination." That spirit of collaboration, and the play's willingness to challenge expectations, makes Bad Medicine appealing even for audiences who may not typically see themselves as theatergoers or horror fans, inspiring curiosity and a desire to explore new storytelling experiences. "Bad Medicine is not your typical play, nor is it your typical horror story," Verrone says. "In some ways, this play is breaking the rules of both to create necessary conversations about how we exist on this land in relationship with its Indigenous peoples. This question is only becoming more pressing as our current attitudes lead us towards environmental catastrophe and the total degradation of the human spirit." With its blend of suspense, humor, and meaningful social commentary, Bad Medicine demonstrates how theater can entertain while asking audiences to examine history, identity, and the stories we tell about one another. Santa Fe Playhouse invites audiences to experience the world premiere of Bad Medicine running August 8–30, 2026, with performances on Fridays and Saturdays at 7:30 p.m. and Saturdays and Sundays at 2:00 p.m. Opening Night is August 8. Tickets are available at santafeplayhouse.org For readers interested in exploring more of Verrone's work, his debut novel, Rabbit, Fox, Tar, is available wherever books are sold. Information about future productions of Bad Medicine and upcoming projects can be found at pcverrone.com. - Teresa Robinson of PRIDE & Equality Magazine and New Mexico Entertainment Magazine
 I’m someone who knows what it’s like to have your humanity debated in public. That debate is louder than ever. Many of the rights we thought were settled years ago are being disputed again. Healthcare protections for transgender individuals are being rolled back throughout the country, and books are being pulled from shelves.
Accommodations for disabled people are framed as “too expensive,” and words like equity and inclusion are framed as controversial instead of compassionate. I know we’re tired, but hope is rising. Not because things are perfect or the attacks have stopped. Hope is rising because people refuse to give up. I see it in parents standing beside their trans kids. In queer youth, forming community when institutions fail them. I see Deaf and disabled advocates demanding access without apology. There are people choosing courage over comfort in rooms where silence would be easier. Progress isn’t a straight line. Equality, to me, has never been theoretical. It’s an action. It’s a hard conversation where someone says, “We can do better.” It’s reviewing a policy and realizing who it unintentionally excludes. It’s making sure sign language interpretation is budgeted from the start. It’s asking who is missing and refusing to move forward until they’re included. Equality is built daily through courage, accountability, and intentional inclusion. We don’t stumble into justice. We practice it. But equality alone isn’t the end goal. What we are fighting for is belonging. Belonging is the difference between being tolerated and being embraced. It’s the difference between surviving a space and feeling safe inside it. Belonging means you don’t have to edit yourself to be accepted. Your pronouns are respected without debate. Your wheelchair is anticipated, not questioned. Your Deaf identity is recognized as a culture. Your trans identity is not treated as a political talking point. Belonging is a right. Every person deserves to live fully, safely, and unapologetically. And in a year like 2026, saying that out loud matters. Because when rights feel fragile, belonging becomes an act of resistance. I’ve learned that diversity isn’t something we manage. It’s power. Our differences are not cracks in the community; they are its foundation. Queer communities imagine beyond limitation because we’ve always had to. Disabled communities innovate because access requires creativity. Trans communities embody resilience. Communities of color continue to lead movements that shift the culture forward. Diversity strengthens us. It makes us sharper, braver, and more adaptable. But none of it means anything without access. Access is non-negotiable. Inclusion only exists when barriers are removed. Not acknowledged. Not debated endlessly. Removed. Access is language access. It’s ramps and accessible technology. It’s healthcare that affirms. It’s leadership that understands that if someone cannot fully participate, the system is incomplete. Access is love turned into structure. And community? Community is what moves history. No major step toward justice has ever happened because one person stood alone. Change happens when we unite and amplify each other. When LGBTQ+ liberation, disability, racial, and economic justice recognize that our struggles are connected. We are turning fear into momentum. So I leave you with this. You belong. Your voice matters. Your presence changes the world. Right now. The future will not become more just by accident. It will not become more inclusive because we hope it will. It will become more human because we are building it through courage, accountability, and solidarity. Even in a time when rights are being challenged, we are not powerless. Hope is rising because we are standing up for one another. I truly believe the future is more just, inclusive, and human because we are building it together, unapologetically, and without asking permission. Elijah Valdez is a Deaf transgender social justice educator and founder of Equity & Impact Consulting. His work focuses on helping communities move beyond performative acceptance by creating spaces centered on accessibility, accountability, equity, and authentic belonging.  It’s apparently been wishful thinking that thought our culture was moving beyond the straight role that was necessary to keep patriarchy going in the U.S. When I wrote Scared Straight: Why It’s So Hard to Accept Gay People and Why It’s So Hard to be Human over twenty years ago, I remember I had hope then that my analysis would be outdated by now.
But, on the contrary, as an academic friend who studies masculinity told me recently, that analysis is even more relevant today with the political victories of the old straight-acting masculinity in politics, the renewed down-grading of all things feminine, the media obsession with something they tout as click-bait: the “crisis of masculinity” in boys, and the reactionary and militant embrace by the religious right-wing of a warrior culture that ignores the Jesus of the Gospels. For a while it was labelled “toxic masculinity” as if it were one version of the masculine gender role that dominated patriarchy, but that label was beaten down by those defending this masculinity itself, a masculinity that’s central to the straight role conditioned into boys and girls. So what is it today that’s the same old “scared straight” that we are now seeing proudly performed and rewarded by the US President, the Secretary of Defense and the rest of his regime, the president’s brown shirts in ICE, their sycophants, and those who were captivated enough to vote for these paragons of straightness. This straight role is not inherent in heterosexuality or absent from homosexuality. Sexual orientations, we understand, are, as best we can know and as researchers point out, inborn, genetic, God-given, or at least established way before one realizes to whom they are attracted. “Straight,” in contrast, is a role that is learned through the systemic teachings of our dominant cultural institutions. And that role is installed in everyone like software in a computer through fear, that is the fear of the consequences of what can happen to you from early childhood if you don’t live up to being straight-acting, straight-thinking, and straight-looking enough no matter what your sexual orientation or gender identity. The straight role for men is meant to take America’s little boys and turn them into warriors. It defines teamwork as a group of men getting together to beat, defeat, or kill other men. It means that the ideal male body is hard, morbidly-muscled, and robotic. It means that men should ignore their hurts, pain, and injuries – “No pain, no gain.” (“Did you see that touchdown? And he did it with two broken legs and a concussion. What a man!”) It means that men should never express feelings of hurt, fear, and confusion but that their masculinity will never be questioned if they express instead anger, violence, and destruction. It means real men never really apologize or admit mistakes, for that is a clear sign of weakness. It means that men don’t merely defeat those who threaten their masculine dominance but must punish and destroy them. It means that rape is a “boys will be boys” way of showing dominance over women and other men. It means that one should be admired for getting ahead by stepping on others. It means that they should be homophobic – fearing closeness with other men. It means they should never do anything “gay.” And it means ultimately that out gay and transgender men are threats to their own straightness. It prepares them for the rewards they will receive if they are willing to go off to kill other men in war. You can get a medal for killing another man while you can still get killed for loving one. No wonder they want to get rid of LGBTQ+ rights that contradict “straightness” including marriage. And the straight role will ultimately kill them – they’ll die earlier, and they’ll spend a lifetime without the emotional experiences all human beings need, the intimacies they need, and the freedom from this tightly buckled straitjacket, but with the constant and inexpressible fear that their lack of living the straight masculine ideal might show – especially to other men whom they fear will take advantage of them for it. The straight role for women begins in patriarchy as a response to this male conditioning. In short, women are supposed to become warrior-support personnel. And they should feel incomplete unless they have a man “to love and protect” them, as if real women can’t love and protect themselves. Women who refuse the straight role will be accused of being “man-haters,” lesbians, and “feminazis.” The oppression of LGBTQ+ people is still, after all, the major means of enforcing the roles. And this Supreme Court has no problem reenforcing that. All of this we are seeing in so many ways from the loudest, and now powerful voices in the country. All of this we can expect our corporate media to justify because the straight role still sells so many products and services. All of this we are feeling when we wonder how, from the president down to his militia and supporters who even claim to be believers in some religion, anyone can be so cruel. The straight role doesn’t recognize even those who live it and those around them as full humans but sees them through the lenses of that straight role. And, as pointed out those years ago, it is as ingrained as ever. As so much we are witnessing, this is not because people exist who don’t openly live that straight role – LGBTQ+ people and some heterosexual allies. But, as in any oppression, the victims are usually the ones who get blamed even when the powerful benefit from their victimhood. The straight role knows those who challenge the roles are around but accepts them superficially if they look, act, and think “straight” enough. It certainly doesn’t want them “proud” that they challenge the role by which the current political regime defines itself. So, whatever response we choose, we are still confronting that straight role and one of the hardest, most deep-seated, and oldest challenges we ever will face – being “scared straight.” But this is learned behavior and what’s learned can be unlearned. And to burst out of its straitjacket will mean a new kind of freedom for all of us. Robert N. Minor, Ph.D., Professor Emeritus of Religious Studies at the University of Kansas, is author of When Religion Is an Addiction; Scared Straight: Why It’s So Hard to Accept Gay People and Why It’s So Hard to Be Human and Gay & Healthy in a Sick Society. Contact him at www.FairnessProject.org  Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde. Photo Credit: Episcopal Diocese of Washington The nation watched with surprised shock back on January 21st at the sight of a national religious leader standing up for those she understands her Bible says to treat with mercy in a public rebuke to Donald Trump while he sat in a front row pew.
Mariann Edgar Budde, the Episcopal bishop of Washington, D.C., in a 15-minute sermon at a national prayer service at Washington’s National Cathedral, showed a seldom-seen courage by looking toward the new President while saying: "Let me make one final plea, Mr. President. Millions have put their trust in you. And as you told the nation yesterday, you have felt the providential hand of a loving God. In the name of our God, I ask you to have mercy upon the people in our country who are scared now. There are gay, lesbian, and transgender children in Democratic, Republican, and independent families, some who fear for their lives…." "The people who pick our crops and clean our office buildings, who labor in poultry farms and meat packing plants, who wash the dishes after we eat in restaurants and work the night shifts in hospitals, they may not be citizens or have the proper documentation. But the vast majority of immigrants are not criminals. They pay taxes and are good neighbors…." "I ask you to have mercy, Mr. President, on those in our communities whose children fear that their parents will be taken away. And that you help those fleeing war zones and persecution in their own lands find compassion and welcome here. Our God teaches us we are to be merciful to the stranger, for we were all once strangers in this land." On the other hand, it was no surprise she was immediately attacked by Donald and his usual sycophants. With their usual lies, slurs, and name-calling. One right-wing US Rep even responded, "The person giving this sermon should be added to the deportation list." Most of them just continued to support the human cruelty she referenced. But she wasn't naïve enough to expect change from those who've attained their power and riches through such inhumanity – her motivation was to do the courageous thing at that moment out of the depth of her calling. Bishop Budde is no stranger to the cause of justice. In her 2023 book, How We Learn to Be Brave: Decisive Moments in Life and Faith, she shares how she learned to be courageous through her faith, how often in life it needs to be seen publicly and privately, and how she has learned through sometimes very public trial and error. She writes that our courage is required at times and in many ways when we need to decide to start something, come out for something, step up in public, or persevere in what we're already doing. Quoting Anglo-Irish poet David Whyte: "Courage is the measure of our heartfelt participation with life, with another, with a community, a work, a future. To be courageous is not necessarily to go anywhere or do anything except to be conscious of those things we already feel deeply and then to live through the unending vulnerabilities of those consequences. To be courageous is to stay close to the way we are made." One problem with judging whether we have done the courageous thing is that the cultural, media-driven, corporate-profitable models of "courage" we're supposed to applaud, are clickbait actions. Framed by dominant institutions, they make brave decisions every day people are expected to make, look routine and weak, and, convince us that we are without courage. Bishop Budde includes stories of courage in her life that are private, "small" to her public stands, sometimes apparent failures, and as down-to-earth as our everyday living. As she puts it, "We learn to be brave throughout a lifetime, and in all aspects of life, especially when the courageous decisions we make are known only to God." Courage is about making decisions based on the best information we have at the time and an analysis of what values we want to affirm for ourselves. Sometimes that's a decision to "come out" as a liberal person or an LGBTQ+ person, but sometimes it's brave to stay in. Courage also means admitting our mistakes: "We need to be honest with ourselves and others when we make a mistake or we're brought to our knees. It's a way of living and leading with an undefended heart, truly open to others, and with a spine strong enough to withstand the experience, learn from it, and carry on." And though we might decide to be brave despite our fears, that isn't the same as being brave only to assuage our guilt. That's why we might remember that courage rests in decisive moments, whether we choose to go or stay, change or persevere. No one needs any additional guilt from otherwise well-meaning people added to any they already have. As I’ve argued, "Guilt, a seemingly noble expression of justice, is a useful control mechanism for those protecting their power and prejudice. And even for the less powerful, dwelling on one's guilt helps us feel we're in control of what we probably are not." Maybe our courage is expressed in starting a private group of individuals who are too vulnerable or afraid in this scary time, to do more than meet to support each other. Courage means seeing that a charity we love continues. Maybe it will be something like standing up in a meeting, saying, "No, I disagree," and sitting down. Perhaps the courage to keep still. But for many in our society, courage is expressed by just making it through another day, another week, another presidency. Bob Minor, Ph.D. Professor Emeritus of Religious Studies, University of Kansas Instagram: @rnminor, fairnessproject.org  The world today is struggling with the concept of compassion and understanding. As an ally, I realize I always walk a fine line between support and knowing my place in the community. As a mother of queer, multi-racial kids, I will never truly understand their challenges. All I can do is be there when they need to vent and do what I can to help and be there for them.
That is all we can do as humans on this earth. But it’s been painful to see how difficult it is for some people to open their minds and hearts just a little. So this year, I would love for us to smile a little more and take time out to be grateful for what we do have. Maybe more of that can overpower the negativity. I hope this year’s issue brings a few smiles as P&E celebrates 20 years in the community! We’re excited to have Dana Tai Soon Burgess as the cover for this year’s PRIDE & Equality magazine. They have been a solid role model to the LGBTQI community throughout their career. And speaking of role models, we’re excited to present this year’s Models of Hope - Sarah Kennedy, Avery Martini, and Hot Flash ABQ - A Woman’s Dance. The community has spoken, and we’re proud to add them to the Models of Hope family. We also have hometown celebrity make-up artist Alexx Mayo and The Final Word from Khoi Le. Here’s to another 20 years of stories of love, support, and family. Happy Pride, everyone! Teresa Robinson Publisher/Editor-in-Chief PRIDE & Equality Magazine  The Vincent R. Johnson Models of Hope Award honors individuals and organizations making a difference and are seen as role models in the community. Many outstanding individuals and companies over 20 years have received this award. We are honored to have the following honorees join the Models of Hope family.  SARAH KENNEDY - COMMUNITY HONOREE Sarah Kennedy is a well-known comedian from Albuquerque, New Mexico, and a positive influence on the LGBTQI community. She has been a strong partner for her wife and partner, Kelli Trapnell, who worked together to open Albuquerque's only comedy club, Dry Heat Comedy. Sarah's comedy covers the gambit and has been a vocal advocate for LGBTQI rights. She writes, produces, and performs. She is an example of a Model of Hope, inspiring others to be true to themselves and stand up for their beliefs. How did you become involved with the LGBTQ community? I was lucky enough to be born into the LGBTQ+ community! But honestly, as I was coming to terms with who I am as a teenager. I certainly wasn't the most outspoken gay around. I had brave friends who were openly in same-sex relationships, actively working to establish community/school programs and living their truth big and brightly. I needed more time to sit with my identity and become comfortable - slowly coming out over time. When I started doing comedy in 2009, I started to share my story and quickly realized that the art and performance I found myself drawn to could create joy and impact my LGBTQ family. I was also lucky to have a lesbian freaking icon in Dana Goldberg, who also started comedy in Albuquerque and went on to do so much for us as a guiding light. Now, I'm thrilled to get to co-own Dry Heat Comedy Club downtown with my wife, Kelli Trapnell, and we work to keep our stage open for folks of all sorts of identities to feel safe sharing their experiences and exploring how they can impact the community themselves! What was life like when you were a youth? I feel like I figured out large chunks of my identity during a fantastically, groundbreaking time for LGBTQ people. I watched the world change right in front of me! When I was little, I remember our music coordinator getting fired from our church for being gay and the discussion around it is very secretive and shameful. It was also a time when it wasn't outside the realm of possibility for kids to play Smear The Q*eer during recess and for "That's gay" to be an entirely common phrase to throw around. But then, little by little, stuff happened in the world, shifting hearts and minds. I watched Ellen come out on national television. Will & Grace becomes a mainstay on Thursday nights. My high school, Cibola, and my college, UNM, established GSAs/QSAs. The L Word came on the air just as I was coming out and entering the dating pool and making lifelong friendships with other queer people. Then I blinked my eyes, and gay marriage was the law of the land. It seems like it happened so fast! I think it's easy to take comfort and safety for granted, and with what's happening in the country right now, we could go back just as quickly if we don't stay aware. What piece of advice would you give LGBTQ youth? Please learn the history of and engage in your community. You are a part of that history and community, and the more you know about where we came from, the more you can play an informed role in where we're going: how to protect those at most risk and how to create a more equitable world for all of us. When things are at their darkest, we have each other to hold and care for. When things are at their brightest, we have each other to embrace and celebrate with. It can be life-saving for yourself and others.  Avery Martini - Photo by Maya Holt. AVERY MARTINI - COMMUNITY HONOREE Avery Martini (Freddie McCalmant-Bell) is a powerhouse in the drag scene. From her first performance, she captivated audiences with her laser-focused lipsyncing and on-point choreography. But she is more than just a performer. Avery is a leader in the community, using her voice for those who may not. Now, Avery is moving into the realm of producing to create shows that highlight minorities in the community. We are honored to have Avery Martini join the ranks of the Models of Hope family. How did you become involved with the LGBTQ community? I've always been Queer. I knew who I was early on and carried that knowledge into adulthood. I genuinely stumbled into a position of "being a leader" in my LGBTQ community, and I couldn't be more grateful to be able to advocate for those who want to live an authentic truth. I became involved in the LGBTQ Community not just because I'm part of it. Our community is ROOTED in activism. The least I can do is continue to use my voice to advocate for those who feel they may not have one. What was life like for you as an LGBTQ youth? I recognized my queerness at a very early age. I didn't have the language or verbiage for who I was. All I knew was I didn't like "boy things". The typical things my parents tried so hard to force me to enjoy (i.e. sports, toy cars, G.I. Joe, etc). I grew up being shamed and bullied by my peers - my elders and some of my family for having a swish in my hips and a limp in my wrist. That is until I was 14 when I took that power back. I came out to those who I had around me after getting a vague understanding of what "being Gay" was. I finally accepted that I was different from those around me, but not different in a bad way. The more I started being unapologetically myself, the more supportive my close friends were. My older sister became my protector, and my parents took a while to come around (My mother is now front row at my drag shows and is my biggest supporter today). But at the end of the day, I knew I was safe in my environment to live my truth, which is a privilege, as many may not have that luxury. What piece of advice would you give LGBTQ youth? In your time, choose authenticity. When you're ready, free yourself from the weight of shame. When it's SAFE, find support in those you trust. I PROMISE you, as cliche as it seems, IT GETS BETTER. You are not to be feared. You are not shameful. You are worthy of a life free from other people's expectations. It takes great courage to be who you are. It takes great resilience to withstand judgment and continue to move through the world with a chin held high. And lastly, keep a good heart. Do not let those who project out of fear and misunderstanding break your soul. We are a COMMUNITY! Accepting you for all you are, here with open arms, whenever you are ready.  HOT FLASH ABQ - BUSINESS/ORGANIZATION HONOREE
A need for community is a space to feel accepted and free to be yourself. Hot Flash ABQ is a women's dance event designed to provide a safe and inclusive space for women to come together and enjoy music, dancing, and socializing. Kathy Baker of Hot Flash ABQ is committed to creating a welcoming environment for the LGBTQI community, and this event has become a beloved fixture. Whether you're looking to dance the night away or connect with like-minded individuals, Hot Flash ABQ is a must-attend event worthy of being a Models of Hope honoree. How did Hot Flash ABQ become a staple in Albuquerque? With all the women's bars closing over the years, there was a need. Someone came to me and told me that we needed a non-smoking women's dance. I had been to a Hot Flash dance in San Diego and thought, why not? As a community, we are better together, and life is easier when you do things with friends. I asked five friends that were in ABQ to share the event. At the first dance, we had over 120 women - this was in 2016. Today, since my partner has put all of her kindness into the dances, we support a local non-profit organization monthly. We raise money and items needed for their organization. We also try to have live performances or local special guests. We are named Hot Flash ABQ because it's a women's dance. We are a 21-and-over dance, and we love seeing the younger generation join in. What does it mean to be a part of the LGBTQI+ community? Being a part of the LGBTQI+ community is an honor. Being in my 50s, the women before me paved my way, making my life easier. I hope we create a safe place for all women of all ages to dance, flirt, laugh, and make new friends. By giving back to the community and bringing our community together monthly - We hope we bring joy to create a safe place for all that join us. What piece of advice would you give LGBTQ youth? Advice? Do what you say, ask for help, commit to your dreams, and always be kind. To learn more about Models of Hope or to cast a nomination, visit www.myprideonline.com/models-of-hope.html. Pride 2023 - Minor Details: It’s Not You. Translating What Right-Winger’s Say to Trigger You6/2/2023  Photo by form PxHere Of course, we want to believe that everyone means what they say. We’d love to believe that more education and presentations of the facts convince people.
We think that explaining ourselves over and over again and spending a lot of energy to understand the right wing and their beliefs (religious or not) will help us get along. We might even be invested in the idea that showing them how much we care about their views – even claiming we “respect” their irrational and bigoted views – will win them over. And when these things don’t work, we blame ourselves, our lack of listening skills, our lack of empathy, our neglect to spend enough time, or our failure to articulate clearly what we mean. We treat ourselves as the guilty party in the debates and actually, though we’d never admit it to ourselves, end up looking down on right-wingers and their dupes in our explanations - as if they’re helpless victims of ignorance, misinformation, or illogic, not capable actors who make choices and cling to their prejudices no matter how we argue. It’s no wonder that the right wing thinks “liberals” look down on them. Even in our divided nation, there’s still somewhat of a moveable middle that wants to see unwavering initiatives by progressives who stand, powerfully, and convincingly as real believers in what they say. Wishy-washy - acting uncertain - won’t work with that middle anymore, and certainly it won’t if we’re progressive people working out of some guilt that it’s somehow our fault. The right-wing knows how to respond so that people will feel that their problem is their antagonist’s fault. And people’s backgrounds, childhood upbringings, and unhealed issues feed into how much it triggers them to blame themselves. So, there are certain strategies that the right wing (and others) will use – words and phrases that say one thing but are meant to make their liberal enemies fall into guilt, internalizing that liberals are the problem and need to put even more energy into useless arguments. If we’ve not done it by now, then, it’s time to translate what they’re saying into its actual meaning so that we’ll act positively and compassionately out of creative power and not take responsibility for right-wingers’ failure to respond as we think. (1) “You aren’t spending enough time figuring out what we mean and thus should listen forever to our sources.” Baloney. There’s no need to listen more closely to right-wingers (especially members of the extremist anti-LGBTQ cult). You should know what they believe by now; they have nothing new to say. If anyone finds something new and unpredictable, that would be a surprise, but I'll bet we've heard it all before. FOX “News” and right-wing hate radio and podcasts will only keep you angry and upset (“Look what they’re doing now!”). They know that, and their goal is to do exactly that for you. This means that hardly any new, mean, self-centered, hypocritical thing they do should surprise us anymore. Hypocrisy is built into their lifestyle to keep it going. We’ve got to be ready for the hell they’re willing for the rest of us to experience. Their misery loves company – it makes them feel that they’re ultimately right when they’re full of doubt about it. (2) “You’re not listening to me.” “You don’t understand me.” They hope this will cause you to try harder because you’ll believe the continued disagreement is your fault. Again: baloney. When right-wingers claim liberals don't listen or don't understand them, they're saying that until you agree with them they’ll not accept that you’re giving them a fair listen or understanding. You must change your opinion to satisfy them. Understanding does not mean agreement. That’s a liberal fantasy - if we just understood each other, we’d all be singing “Kumbaya.” The Israelis and Palestinians do understand each other. I disagree vehemently with the right wing on most issues, because I understand them. So, don't expect more indulgence to change their argument that you don’t get them. What they’ll only accept is when you change your position to agree with their view. (3) “You liberals talk down to us.” We are if we think the problem is their ignorance of facts that we know. But again: baloney. When they say liberals talk down to them, right-wingers mean that liberals keep using facts and careful, peaceful language. Liberals will be accused of talking down to them until liberals agree and take on their anger. And, by the way, no one talks down more to those they disagree with than right-wingers – ex. “We patriots.” “We true Americans.” “We Moral Majority.” “We Christians.” (4) “You don’t get the logic in our positions.” Baloney. The current right-wing mindset isn’t based on rationality and logic. It's about supporting prejudices by any means possible. The more liberals argue as if cool rationality will work, the more they’ll be accused of talking down to them. Remember, right-wingers are not caught up in their ideology because they’re stupid or just don't understand something you have to tell them. They’re caught up in something like the comfort of a cult that has teachings that support their prejudices and fears – what linguist George Lakoff calls the conservative frame. As such, right-wingers will lie, reject anyone who points out that they’re lying, and defend their heroes no matter what they do. And right-wing religion supports all of this if it makes them winners in their righteous culture wars. Look at their view of the end times, which includes their salivating about the violent, vengeful destruction of their enemies. The key to right-wing religion is experiencing and chasing a high of righteousness that means winning at all costs. (5) “We’re being persecuted by….” Malarkey. Right-wingers love to play you so that you believe they’re the victims of you and your “liberal” culture. No matter how they’re in power they’ll always talk as if they’re a persecuted minority. The political party that is anti-LGBTQ people and any others that don’t fit its white patriarchal image of America, isn’t dumb or lacking in some understanding of democracy. They have just perfected how to use the minds of their devotees and liberals to get their oligarchic agenda across. Don’t fall into their guilt-inducing mind control. It’s them, not you. Realize that when you’re confronting them - especially if you’re supporting one of their targets, like LGBTQ people. Robert N. Minor, Ph.D., Professor Emeritus of Religious Studies at the University of Kansas, is the author of When Religion Is an Addiction; Scared Straight: Why It’s So Hard to Accept Gay People and Why It’s So Hard to Be Human and Gay & Healthy in a Sick Society. Contact him at www.FairnessProject.org.  Everyone knows I am a sucker for small-city charm, so I decided to venture about an hour and a half outside of Atlanta to Athens, Georgia, home of rock bands R.E.M., Widespread Panic, and, of course, the B-52s. As soon as I drove into the college town, I knew I was in for a treat. I love exploring these destinations. They offer tons of local restaurants and boutiques, which ooze with character.
Athens is a thriving college town located in the northeastern part of Georgia. It is home to the University of Georgia - the flagship university of the state - the Athens Institute of Technology, and Piedmont College. Athens is a vibrant city that offers a unique blend of Southern charm and culture. Athens has a rich history that dates back to the early 1800s. The city was settled in 1801 and named after Athens, Greece, the birthplace of democracy. It played a role in the Civil War, serving as a transportation hub for the Confederacy. In the years following the war, Athens became a center of higher education with the founding of the University of Georgia. The city soon became the center of politics and commerce in the region. The University of Georgia is the largest employer in Athens, and its presence has shaped the city's culture and economy. The university is home to the Georgia Bulldogs, the school's football team, and several other athletic teams. It also hosts numerous music, art, and theater events all year. Athens is also known for its distinctive neighborhoods. Five Points is the city's oldest and most popular area of many shops, restaurants, and bars. After checking into my room at Hotel Indigo, I walked to the center-of-town, lined with a selection of restaurants and live music venues. Given the musical heritage of Athens, live music is still at the heart of their nightlife scene. Some venues worth checking out include 40 Watt Club, The Warehouse, and the Georgia Theatre. To my surprise, located in the center of downtown is a fabulous four-way rainbow crosswalk. Sometimes when I visit smaller destinations, I wonder if Athens is welcoming to LGBTQ individuals, but I quickly realized that Athens most definitely is. Having the university present in the city adds to its progressive stance. If you are in town on a Friday evening, swing by Athens Showgirl Cabaret's Fabulous Fridays at Hendershot's, located in the Bottleworks development. A coffee shop during the day and bar in the evening, Hendershot's is the perfect place to mingle among LGBTQ locals. After the drag show, head to Sister Louisa's Church, about a 10-minute walk from Hendershot's. The quirky establishment features a bar, patio, and club area and is the hub of LGBTQ nightlife in Athens. After a restful night's sleep I headed to Mama's Boy for breakfast. A short drive from the hotel, the restaurant is a local institution serving a hearty breakfast that will not break the budget. The morning is a great time to head to The State Botanical Garden of Georgia. I spent about 2 hours strolling around the gardens and taking in the sights and smells of my surroundings. Be sure to visit the Discovery and Inspiration Garden and the Hummingbird Trail. For an afternoon pick-me-up, head to 1000 Faces Coffee, a cute coffee shop and roaster in town, or check out Condor Chocolates and sample some delicious chocolate truffles. The Georgia Museum of Art is located on the University of Georgia campus, and is walkable from Hotel Indigo. I would recommend bringing a bottle of water along for the journey. The museum contains a lovely sculpture garden and various exhibition halls, which feature a vast collection. Currently on exhibition is Power & Piety: Seventeenth-Century Spanish Art. Admission is free to the Museum of Art and the botanical gardens, making Athens a budget-friendly getaway. Speaking of art, beautiful murals can be found all over town, depicting the city's rich musical heritage. But my favorite was the "Greetings from Athens" mural located on the side of a building in a narrow alley. It can be missed if you don't know where you are going. The city is home to several festivals, including the AthFest Music and Arts Festival, the Athens Film Festival, and the Athens International Film & Video Festival. Plan your visit around one of those events. In the mood for more shopping? I recommend wandering through Wuxtry Records, one of a few independently owned record stores left in the country. I could spend hours going through their endless aisles of records but only had two days in the city, so I had to move on. I stumbled upon Community, a hub for locally-made products, including candles and handcrafted soaps. Athens, Georgia, is a small city with a lot to offer. Its vibrant music scene, thriving culinary scene, and abundance of outdoor recreation opportunities make it a perfect destination for a solo trip or a vacation with friends. If you are looking for a hip weekend adventure, give Athens a try. Enjoy the journey! Joey Amato is the publisher of Pride Journeys, a syndicated LGBTQ travel column. Joey has worked in LGBTQ media for over a decade and resides in Indianapolis. For more information about Pride Journeys, visit www.PrideJourneys.com. |
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